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You told me she had died in a hospital bed
With her glasses on
So that she could see Death properly

And I picked away at my breakfast,
Which was pancakes and strawberries,
Trying to imagine
Her squinting ahead at Him
With her dying eyesight

The pancakes were dry and store-bought
And my plate was a pool of cold syrup
And flavorless,
Half-eaten strawberries
When I had finished,
And my hands were stained with the sweet blood

And you took my place,
Picking away at soggy crumbs.
I guess grief is dealt differently. 

EDIT: Oh my gosh! A DD! :dalove: Thank-you to the lovely GrimFace242 for featuring me! :clap: 
Thanks so much for your support, guys! I can hardly type! :D :happybounce: 

Thanks to all of you for the features, too!  neurotype.deviantart.com/journ…
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-12-01
Breakfast by ~Tigris42 ( Featured by inknalcohol )
:icontommyboywood:
tommyboywood Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You shoulda called me. I make my pancakes and waffles from scratch!
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yum! I couldn't do that Blush 
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
First of all... Congratulations on the DD! :la:

The work is beautiful and it deserved it! The starting stanza pulls the reader in and while it is free verse, there is a hint of rhyme and rhythm. I would have wanted to say a lot more but ah well ^^; it already has a lot of comments that probably say what I wanted to :)
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you!!
Reply
:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You are welcome!
Reply
:icontakemetoverona:
takemetoverona Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student Writer
There is a unique sense of voice created here, and you deal with the subject matter in such a human way. This really deserves the DD, congratulations!
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you, so much! :) I really appreciate your feedback! :hug:
Reply
:iconlibbykeppen:
LibbyKeppen Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it!!  Great job!
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you! :highfive: 
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:iconlibbykeppen:
LibbyKeppen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconthatgirlontheinterne:
Thatgirlontheinterne Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Artist
In my mind, pancakes represents emptiness,the pool of syrup represents tears, and strawberries represents bitterness, hurting in the heart. I like this very muchHug Llama Emoji 03 (Sparkles) [V1] 
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like it! Yeah, I'm trying to keep track of how many people interpret it differently. :) Thank-you! :hug:
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:iconthatgirlontheinterne:
Thatgirlontheinterne Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student Artist
your welcome:)
Reply
:iconi-am-a-bridgewalker:
i-am-a-bridgewalker Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
oh awesome, this is so deserving of the dd.

you grasp that irrelevant minutiae of grief so well. I have no idea what to call that human condition, but it's such a universal thing, and yet we all think we're experiencing "wrong" because of it. with every truly traumatic or heavy moment I've ever experienced, what I remember are the pieces and not the whole.

and the blood/strawberries thing is great too--how everything becomes a symbol against our will.

you should read "abschied symphony" by dorianne laux--it encounters grief in a very similar way, and your poem reminded me of hers. (which is a compliment as she's my favorite poet.)

congrats again!
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you, you're very sweet! :hug: And I will definitely read her poem, by the way. And that mystery of sorrow, that deep ambiguity of how to deal with a sudden absence, it fuels our curiosity, and isn't tangible which is the worst part of it. I guess being inarticulate when you get that condition, one that every one of us gets at one point at another, is predicted, but painful. Okay, I just spewed my guts out on this topic, which I'm not even sure I explained well, so I'm just going to stop talking about humanity's morals and death. 
Thank-you again! :) 
Reply
:iconi-am-a-bridgewalker:
i-am-a-bridgewalker Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
that's why we have poetry though--to help us explain the things we can't explain well any other way. (an old teacher of mine said "poetry is for saying things that are impossible to say.") and yours did a great job of it. = )
Reply
:iconphilaharmonicai:
Philaharmonicai Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
Absolutely GORGEOUS imagery! You have a real talent with words! We do all deal with grief differently, but to compare that realization with a cold breakfast is just so painfully lovely. All the senses evoked here are so powerful...it is a superbly written poem overall. I wish more pieces like this could get out there - there is such an apathy toward poetry in general that I am always so sad to see. But if more people saw the beauty in the words as they are presented here - so beautiful yet dealing with a subject so fragile and so often pushed aside - I truly believe that they would appreciate it with whole new eyes!

Congratulations for the very well deserved DD! I cannot wait to read more of your work!
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you, thank-you, thanks! :tighthug: I very much agree, too, I wish more poetry written in this style were out there, or at least publicized. I hope to check out your work as soon as I get the chance. :)
Reply
:iconchancerox:
chancerox Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You told me she had died in a hospital bed
With her glasses on 
So that she could see Death properly

--
 
this really is so powerful. 
Reply
:icongummyrabbit:
gummyrabbit Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Writer
Those lines really hit me too.  

Also the lines: 
"Her squinting ahead at Him
With her dying eyesight"

It captured the unimaginable juxtaposition between the very descriptive, very normal human actions of an old lady and the thing you are trying to imagine her seeing.  I can see exactly how she looks squinting, which makes the contrast all the more powerful.
An incredible poem, overall.  You dealt with so many tensions so flawlessly.
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks SO much! :tighthug: :)
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you! I really appreciate it! :hug:
Reply
:iconreireiserenade:
ReiReiSerenade Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this is so unique! I have never read anything like this, and i don't think i have ever said that before. :clap:
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you so much! :hug:
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:iconmrsnox:
MrsNox Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful poem. Well done. 
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:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!! :)
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:iconsamkv:
samkv Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Artisan Crafter
Wow! What an image! Your tone and pace remind me a bit of William Carlos Williams. www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/pr…
He's one of my favorites.
Congrats on the DD!
:D (Big Grin) 
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love that poem! Thank-you!
Reply
:iconscorpionholiday:
ScorpionHoliday Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
Wow that was astounding. I loved reading it. It was very beautiful.
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:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you! :hug:
Reply
:iconigolerman:
iGolerman Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconpinkbow4plz: :iconpinkbow2plz: :iconpinkbow3plz::iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz:
:iconrainbowheartplz1: :iconrainbowheartplz2: :iconrainbowheartplz3: :iconlovepinkplz: :iconcongratsdd1plz: :iconcongratsdd2plz: :iconcongratsdd3plz: :iconlovepurpleplz: :iconrainbowheartplz1: :iconrainbowheartplz2: :iconrainbowheartplz3:
:iconpinkbow4plz: :iconpinkbow2plz: :iconpinkbow3plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz: :iconpinkbow1plz:
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:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing! Thanks! :clap:
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:iconcallme007:
callme007 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
:iconpinkbow4plz::iconpinkbow2plz::iconpinkbow3plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz:
:iconrainbowheartplz1::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz3::iconlovepinkplz::iconcongratsdd1plz::iconcongratsdd2plz::iconcongratsdd3plz::iconlovepurpleplz::iconrainbowheartplz1::iconrainbowheartplz2::iconrainbowheartplz3:
:iconpinkbow4plz::iconpinkbow2plz::iconpinkbow3plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz::iconpinkbow1plz:
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:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow! Thank-you for the dazzling display, I really appreciate it. :)
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:iconcallme007:
callme007 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
:iconkissingplz::iconsparklesplz::iconyourwelcomeplz::iconyourwelcomeplz2::iconyourwelcomeplz3::iconsparklesplz::iconkissinguplz:
:iconclothesline01::iconclothesline02::iconclothesline03::iconclothesline04::iconclothesline05::iconclothesline06::iconclothesline07::iconclothesline08:
                         :iconclothesline09::iconclothesline10::iconclothesline11::iconclothesline12:
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:icondaydreamerz890:
daydreamerz890 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
:please: :please: revamped Llama Emoji 09 (Drinking Tea) [V1] I'm begging you
Reply
:icondaydreamerz890:
daydreamerz890 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
Do you think you can join my group TheExpression and write stories or draw stuff? i stared it a little while ago. i'll send you  a invite. ~Tigris42 
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:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ha, okay, sure!
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:icondaydreamerz890:
daydreamerz890 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
cool thanks a lot!
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:iconeuxiom:
Euxiom Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
Congratulations! I like this, haven't seen a piece that mentions eyesight and food in relation to death...it's nice and different!
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank-you!
Reply
:iconserenesouls27:
Serenesouls27 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautifully written ^^
I love the part where she has put on her glasses to see death properly !
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I appreciate it! ^^
Reply
:iconserenesouls27:
Serenesouls27 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:):)
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:iconf-e-n-n-i:
F-E-N-N-I Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the DD!
Reply
:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:happybounce:
Reply
:iconmufasa45:
mufasa45 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Writer
Sweating a little... Sweating a little... :o (Eek) :o (Eek) 
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:iconleftunfinished:
LeftUnfinished Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:huggle:
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:iconmufasa45:
mufasa45 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013  Student Writer
Ur welcome
Reply
:icongryffgirl:
Gryffgirl Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
A beautiful portrayal of grief.  Very lovely and poignant images.  Congratulations on your DD! :clap:
Reply
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November 5, 2013
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